Why Obama?

Why am I supporting Obama? Since I've been inundated with this question (OK, no one has asked, but in my mind . . .), I figured I would let everyone in on my thought process. So here they are, the top 10 reasons I'm supporting Barack Obama in the 2008 Presidential Election:
blush. Plus, I don't get Fox News anymore, so I have to endure unfair and unbalanced coverage.

10. The liberal media finally got to me. You gotta admit, the media loves this guy. They can't get too much B.O. The speeches, the hope, the ears. It's enough to make Wolf Blitzer blush.

9. I'm a closet Muslim, just like him. Let's elect Barack Obama for Allah (PBUH)!

8. I believe he is the greatest hope to destroy our nation the quickest. It's all right there in the book of Revelation. The United States is the great whore, and Obama is most likely the Anti-Christ. Bring on the end-times - daddy needs a new crown!

7. God has punished my move to Texas by melting my brain, thus making me a liberal. A lot of you know this - I used to be veerrrry conservative. Like Rush Limbaugh conservative. A card-carrying member of the "religious right". Wait . . . I never got a card. And Jerry Falwell's gone now. Damn.

6. This Texas heat has made me crazy. You know, Dallas is actually really conservative - so much so that we have the "George Bush Turnpike." You know, just north of "LBJ Freeway" and "Ronald Reagan Freeway". I'm not kidding. So I guess the Texas heat is no excuse. If anything, support for Obama would be a big fat proverbial finger to this God-forsaken city and state.

5. My "liberalization" is in reality rebellion against the Church. Because we all know the Bible tells us to vote Republican.

4. My wife has corrupted me. Well, I have married been just under a year, so sorry folks - this process began before my relationship with Jennifer. Can't blame her, I guess.

3. Going to college in Santa Cruz, even if it was a quite conservative Christian school, dragged me from my Republican mountaintop down to the dregs of society - the Democratic party. You know, this might be true . . .

2. I have unresolved psychological issues that are manifesting themselves through intentionally bad life choices. Like Ann Coulter, the most brilliant political mind the world has seen, says, liberalism is a mental disorder. It should logically follow that there is some yet-undiscovered Freudian root to this troubling symptom.

1. I actually believe he is the right candidate at the right time. Millions of people, myself included, are disillusioned with the American political process, and serious reforms, and yes, even inspiring speeches, are desperately needed to encourage those of us who haven't cared for years, to get involved in our country. Barack Obama seems to understand that politicians are not the key to the American success story - people like you and I are. If you don't like your government, change it. If you don't like your life, change it.