Time to feed the sheep

"When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?' 'Yes, Lord,' he said, 'you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Feed my lambs.' Again Jesus said, 'Simon son of John, do you truly love me?' He answered, 'Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Take care of my sheep.' The third time he said to him, 'Simon son of John, do you love me?' Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, 'Do you love me?' He said, 'Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Feed my sheep.' (John 21:15-17)"

The idea of being in full-time ministry . . . well, let me be frank--it scares the piss out of me. I guess my greatest fear is failing. Not all that uncommon, I know. But I worry that I'll drop the ball and be yet another example of failure in the Church, yet another reason for people to just try something else, because this Christianity thing is full of flakes. I can't help but think Peter felt that way to some degree, too. The above passage amazes me. Peter had just fulfilled Christ's prediction and denied Him three times, after Peter had pretty much told Him, "OK, now, Jesus, I get that You're God and all, but that's just not going to happen." Well, yeah, it did happen. So Peter is all bummed out, and decides to go fishing. Now, this is not like you or me going fishing: Peter was a fisherman. At least before Christ called him to be a disciple, he was. For Peter, going fishing was giving up, returning to the life he had before Jesus changed everything. So Peter goes fishing and Jesus shows up out of the blue. He asks Peter that magic question, "Do you love me?", not once, not twice, but three times, once for each of Peter's previous denials. And after Peter's response, the Lord tells him, "Feed My sheep." Take care of My people. This is not a simple command. Jesus, knowing full well what had transpired over the last couple days, that Peter had denied Him, that Peter felt horrible about it, took special care to tell Peter to feed His sheep. Get out of the boat, Peter. You're still a fisher of men. I haven't given up on you. There is still work to be done, and you're still my guy. Jesus wasn't merely giving Peter a command -- He was re-releasing him into the ministry. Fast-forward 2000 years or so, and here I am. I feel like I've spent so long being bitter and angry, licking my wounds, sharing with anyone that would listen what I hate about the Church and how I was done wrong by these people, and how this person did this to my friend, and whatever. Good lord, what a whiner. After a couple of years of laying low, still loving God but being so leery of jumping back into ministry, I feel like God is saying, Daniel, feed My sheep. Get out of the boat. I haven't given up on you. There is work to be done, and you're still my guy.